Successful and Single and WHO CARES?!

Man.. I am SO far gone #NoDrake over these regular people relationship “experts” and “gurus” talking about why successful black women don’t have men..

WHO CARES!? Why is it so concerning to everyone why we’re unmarried and single!?! I mean.. consider this..

“I am happy being single”

Sheesh.. Some of us are happy building up ourselves and becoming excellent women on our own so that we can be excellent wives one day..

And some of us have no desire to be in relationships at all and may plan to be unmarried..

I don’t understand why it is anyone elses concern why we’re single and why there is so much speculation..

Men are intimidated by us.. so what?! People in general are intimidated by success and strength but it doesn’t stop us from having good family and friends.. so.. what you sayin!?

We’re too independent for our own good.. sigh! I’ll be the first to say that I’m not.. but what’s wrong with holding down the fort while you can or have to!? Now.. when a man comes into the picture.. as long as we let him be a man.. whats the problem!?

All I have to say about it is this: blah blah blah..

I consider myself to be a moderately successful black woman.. having matriculated from a well respected university and having been able to find a decent job prior to returning for my Masters.. and some other cool stuff..

I have also been successful in building relationships with friends and family and being great in general (mm hm)..


I don’t consider myself a full grown woman.. I am a growing up.. I am still figuring out how to make dentist appointments and save money for the future..

I am preparing myself for adulthood & learning about life which also means I am preparing myself for my future husband..

In the past I have moved into “relationships” just because I was lonely or bored or just wanted someone around.. but I realized that I wasn’t finding anything that meant anything.. so I gave up to focus on myself..

Along the way I was able to make friends who can offer more than just a good night time and a couple late night phone calls…

All that to say.. I realized that I was not ready for a relationship and that is why I am single..

Does that have anything with being a successful black woman!? No.. thats all about being self-aware and honest..

So.. relationship “experts” can bite me.. why don’t they discuss something else..

Other things I don’t want to hear anymore about:

Why Successful Black Men Choose White Women — they feel like it
Why Men Cheat — they feel like it

All these grappling relationship issues boil down to what I just said..

Because you felt like it.. so.. do you and love life

m. lauren


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