luv music // Secret Garden

I learned some disturbing news via twitter today.. it seems that Jermaine Dupri is planning on remaking the CLASSIC baby maker “Secret Garden”.. you know the one.. El Debarge, Al B Sure, James Ingram.. BARRY “I clear my throat and your panties get wet” WHITE.. Well.. seems as though JD plans to remake the song with.. wait for it..

Usher, Trey Songz, Tyrese and Robin Thicke..

I just canNOT..

Oh it gets better.. he’s going to leave Barry’s part on the song..

Honestly JD?!

There are just some things you don’t mess with: acid and bare skin, crazy chicks and sharp objects.. CLASSIC MUSIC

Secret Garden is one of those songs that stops you in your tracks.. as soon as it comes on.. you will drop everything you are doing.. raise your hands in the air -mama style- and yell “HEY NOW.. THATS MY SONG”.. we are talking about a song that some of us were made to! Half of ya’ll reading this will probably have this playing later on tonight as you try to get that almost-the-weekend-lovin!

This song is smooth.. it has every element of a love making song one could want:

Subtlety — the music nowadays is so obvious.. I actually listened to a song today and the lyric was “I want you to cum inside me” OKAY.. EW! Secret Garden doesn’t even SAY anything about sex.. but you know that all four of these men want to make you SCREAM.. however.. there is a bit of mystery.. an oozing sensuality.. listen to this song and you will understand the phrase “make love to my mind”

Score — the music itself makes you want to cuddle up.. this is a song that you could take the vocals off of and still feel it!

Sex appeal — I have two words: Barry White.. Trey Songz invented sex huh?! Puh-leez and boy bye.. Barry White can make a sista reach her peak in two words.. Trey.. it’s okay boo .. you tried!! All 4 men bring a little something to the song.. you got the pretty boy.. the manly man.. the sensitive are you sure he’s straight guy and the romantic lover who’ll make you feel brand new.. how could you go wrong?!

Here’s how.. BY REMAKING THE SONG!!

I like all 4 of the “remake” artists individually and even swooned a little when Trey Songz hopped on stage with Tyrese and Johnny Gill to tribute the O’Jays.. but there is no way on God’s green earth I will co-sign this mess.. In order for a song to be remade.. two things need to happen.. 1. the original needs to be touchable and 2. the remake artists need to be near untouchable..

Take Jennifer Hudson for instance.. on “And IAm Telling You”… tell me you didn’t get goosebumps and almost holler in the theater listening to her sing!? She is a phenomenal voice.. and sistagirl sang the MESS out of that song.. the song had room though for someone to put a mark on it though because the musical was being put to screen.. and bam.. she killed it..

But Secret Garden!? No sir! Trey Songz needs to stick with being R Kelly 2K and Robin Thicke needs to stick with butt-clenching breathing exercises so he doesn’t pass out during his next performance of “Sex Therapy”.. Tyrese needs to just make another album and stop hopping on stage randomly when he hasn’t had an album out since I was 19.. and Usher needs to A-town stomp his way right into retirement!!

I would be all for a remake of some other song that wasn’t as magnificent as Secret Garden.. but I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let JD and Quincy Jones pollute my ears with tom-foolery such as this..

Lastly.. is Quincy going deaf!? I know yall seen “We Are The World 25” by now.. I liketa had shot him AND Lionel.. standin in the studio smilin and directin and whatnot like he was doin something BIG.. boy bye.. you put Anthony Hamilton and Gladys Knight (not to mention countless other real artists) in the studio and gave solos to lil Wayne and T-Pain!? THEN!! had the square nerve to throw a rap verse on there.. Quincy MUST be goin deaf.. somebody buy him a Loud N Clear

Don’t support this Secret Garden mess yall!! Go to the buybacks store and buy all the cassettes of “Back on the Block” you can find and slap JD if u see him!

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One Response to “luv music // Secret Garden”

  1. […] so I heard about this (and probably wrote about it too) but did I believe that this fool would actually pull Tevin Campbell from outta his […]

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