“Lets Just Chill And Watch A Movie”

Or… NOT!

Guys, I want to let you in on a little not-so-secret.. we do NOT want to come over for a “movie & just chill”.. there are a couple of reasons why..

NUMBER ONE: Movie night is a loose translation in dateguage for = let me try to hit that.. Most of the ladies know this! A movie is the perfect opportunity for you to see how far you can go because the lights are off, we are in close proximity and you think you’re slick! If we come over for the movie we either a. are going to have sex with you anyway or b. really want to watch a movie so don’t try nothin.. Group A is usually easy to tell because she’ll accept the invite with no other questions and come on over.. Group B will probably say something like “no funny business”.. Group C (the girls who know whats up and “aint down wit dat”) are the girls who will emphatically say “NO” when asked for a movie night and suggest another date idea.. Group D are girls who are just plain naive and don’t understand the dateguage code.. they will come for the movie and probably give it up and then say “oohhh’ when her friends explain how you just played her like a fiddle

NUMBER TWO: We want to be shown off.. especially if this is date one, we want to see what kind of person you are out in public, how you’ll treat us and how people respond to you.. cooking dinner at your place is sweet and all but I want to know if you are rude to waiters, hold doors and will try new things! We will also assume that you are trying to get into our pants if we are invited over.. it’s just a fact.. you are a guy (guilty) until proven a real man (innocent) .. A “guy” is after the panties, the conquest, the conquer.. a real man is after the woman herself.. ||generalizations are not 100% accurate, learn a person individually|| Until we feel comfortable with your intentions.. we may avoid being at the house during certain time periods

NUMBER THREE: We don’t know you like that! Serial murderers and rapists walk the streets like regular people do.. they have jobs and friends and go to the zoo.. As women living in the “Age of Lifetime”.. we are sometimes extra cautious.. meeting you at the restaurant, bringing a friend to sit at the bar while we eat, not letting you see where she lives.. these actions were created by women who don’t want to get dated raped and blugeoned end up as case studies for Law and Order: SVU.. Don’t fret if you are dating this woman.. just allow her to get comfortable with you and show her that you are a stand up guy.. but please don’t go all Scott Peterson on her after she falls in love!

NUMBER FOUR: We want you to be creative.. cooking dinner and watching a movie in your living room can be both romantic and boring! Spice things up a bit! We want you to think of something fun and exciting to do with us on dates.. After a few relationships and millions of dates.. they are all the same.. steak is steak and a rom-com is a rom-com.. Mix it up and surprise us with something that has never been done!

NUMBER FIVE: We don’t EVER want you to think we are that girl.. the easy girl, the slutty girl, etc.  We are pure and innocent until we know you well enough to unleash the freak! If she doesn’t want to be alone with you or at your home, it may be because she doesn’t want to get into a sexual situation “too soon” or lead you to believe that she is a frequentor of “movie nights”..

Guys.. we are complicated creatures.. we know this! We have a reason for not doing anything and never have a reason for doing it.. we group all of you together until you’ve proven that you are an individual worthy of being called a man and we hold our standards close to our hearts.. We want the best kind of man that we can find just like you want the best woman you can find.. so don’t argue about why Blockbuster nights can be fun.. whip out that thinking cap and WOW us!

||please note: this post refers to ladies and real women.. hoodrats don’t mind movie nights||

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4 Responses to ““Lets Just Chill And Watch A Movie””

  1. […] and their dumb ideas about dating.  Go over to Single and Looking and read about her thoughts on Movie Night.  She gives five, rather disjointed reasons for why inviting a girl to come over, chill, and watch […]

  2. 1. Movie night is not code for “let me try to hit that.” Movie night is code for “I was planning on staying in and watching a movie and it’d be somewhat more enjoyable if you came over and watched it with me.” Guys want to know if a girl will fit into his life without turning everything upside down. You don’t have to change yourself to fit into our world, we just want to make sure you’re not going to try to change our world to suit you. Inviting you to do things we were going to do anyways is the best way to do that. Also, it reminds you that our plans aren’t contingent on your participation.

    1(a). All guys want to get into your pants, regardless of what you do on your date. If a guy’s not trying to sleep with you, he’s either a gutless coward, or getting plenty elsewhere. Or you’re uggo.

    1(b). “No funny business,” does not mean “no funny business.” It means “Be cool and there’ll totally be some funny business.”

    2. We want to know what type of person you’re like before we expose the world to you. We need to see what you’re like in a controlled environment before we risk taking you out into public where you might mistreat waiters, but rude to any friends we happen to run into, or just cause a scene for no good reason.

    3. Getting to know a guy doesn’t give you any real assurance that you’re not going to be raped or murdered by him. Getting to know him just means you’re probably going to end up like a whole lot of other women and overlook obvious signs of creepiness or douchebaggery and forgive him when he mistreats you. Better to get a good gauge of his criminal tendencies before you’ve grown attached.

    4. No dates are creative. Every date you ever go on has literally been done before.

    4(a). We don’t want to do all the work on the date. Dates are a way for people to get to know each other and enjoy each other’s company. Only a fool sets up his date to be nothing more than an intensive test where he is on trial and the girl is judge, jury and executioner.

    5. None of you is pure an innocent and we know it. Stop pretending otherwise. When you act all prim and proper at the start but then reveal a freaky side later, you’re just going to find yourself with a guy who wanted the prim and proper girl. That’s why he was dating her! He wasn’t dating you secretly hoping you’d be someone else. He was dating you hoping you were you.

  3. This is a wonderful and insightful post that ALL men should read!!!

    Live, Love and Laugh Often

    Charlette Marie

  4. […] and their dumb ideas about dating. Go over to Single and Looking and read about her thoughts on Movie Night. She gives five, rather disjointed reasons for why inviting a girl to come over, chill, and watch a […]

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