I like to use a sports metaphor when I talk about dating.. Basketball – even though I don’t understand it – is always the natural choice.. probably because I’m black *m.l. shrug*..

So.. last night.. I ended up getting a bit peeved at someone who I am apparently “dating”.. I say apparently because I am obviously the only person dating in the situation (that is, until last night) while this other human being is out somewhere doing things that work my nerves.. after getting pissed off from something this human being did (whether I should have been annoyed or not).. I decided it was time to 1. DELETE and 2. Hold Auditions!!

I took to twitter to air out my grievances with the Chumps, Busters, BANs and Losers Guild of America to let them know that I will not be tolerating any bulljive and they are not welcome at my auditions!!

I came up with a list of things that will disqualify a guy from auditions.. so take notes fellas:

If you want me to call you “daddy” #dontcometomyauditions thas nasty

If you don’t consider yourself an aggressive person… #dontcometomyauditions I date the alpha male.. Not his minions

If you ALWAYS try to make me make decisions & be in charge.. You’re a weak mofo #dontcometomyauditions

If the words “reading is lame/whack/boring” have ever come out of your mouth #dontcometomyauditions you.are.a.loser

If you dress like a multicolored Christmas tree ornament #dontcometomyauditions this aint 106 & Park

If your idea of a date does not require exiting the house #dontcometomyauditions

These are just a couple of the tweets I posted.. while some of the posts may be a bit comical.. I am so serious.. I take dating seriously.. and I don’t have time for chump-like behavior.. you will get rejected, deleted and forgotten..


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