||venting||

How much sense does this make?

I don’t want to think about something too much because if it doesn’t work out, I would’ve put too much mental and emotional effort into it..

But I don’t have a very positive outlook on things.. So I feel kind of safe thinking about something that I think probably won’t happen..

But I realize at the same time that I am nervous about the unknown and if things did work out in my favor then I had no reason to worry..

And at the same time I don’t want to put all of my eggs (thoughts) into one basket (situation)..

Perhaps the best solution would be for me to find a hobby or something to take some of this idle time.. Problem is..

Most of these thoughts occur while I’m in bed.. I can’t find that many hobbies!!!

The past couple days have been.. Different.. In a good way.. But have aroused some feelings.. Feelings I didn’t know existed.. The way I feel is different.. I keep trying to keep myself from saying that.. B/c I don’t halfway believe it.. But also because I don’t want to admit it..

This is new.. And I feel like I’m working on jeopardizing a good thing because of my fear.. I said I would take things a moment at a time.. But its hard.. I’m trying..

I’m going to keep trying.. Because I don’t want to not take a risk that could’ve paid off..

Two cheers for risk-taking…

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One Response to “||venting||”

  1. It’s always a big concern of mine when I put all my eggs into one basket. I suppose that’s why I’m so risk adverse in relationships. I’m a true runner!

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