Guest Commentary // Black Gays Here To Stay

I believe myself to be an open-minded and tolerant individual.. I would like to think that of all the traits God could’ve passed down through His holy DNA to me.. loving and compassionate would be the two that He gave me the most of.. I can get along with absolutely any person (if I need to).. and I try not to judge others until I have a reason to .. it is a wonder to me then, that there are so many people in the world unlike myself..

I cannot understand how so much hatred could live inside people.. people hate other PEOPLE for being a certain race, sexuality, sex, even having a certain accent.. RIDICULOUS!! What reason is there to hate a person.. a person who you dont even know!? Beats me..

If there is one thing I’ve learned in all my 22 years of life.. it is that love knows no bounds.. and it is better to love .. hate takes too much energy.. put a smile on your face honey child!

Now.. that being said.. a good friend of mine asked me if he could post a guest blog on And Looking?.. And I want to hear whatever you have to say.. so come with it..

Anywho.. Aaron Thomas.. my beautiful, huge-hearted and passionate friend told me that he wanted to let all ya’ll know something:

Black Gays been here and ain’t going NO WHERE!! .. so get used to it and get over your hate..

The following is a blog written by Aaron “my soulmate in the head” Thomas:

Yesterday, an email was circulated around my family with the subject line that read “fwd: Groom-Groom Wedding”. As the notification appeared on my screen, my heart fell into my stomach. Not because of what the images were, but the sideline comments that were guaranteed to follow. Sure enough, my inbox was flooded with a stream of hateful, devilishly ignorant opinions of two Black men who committed no crime other than holding a ceremony in honor of the bond, relationship and love that exists between them. Instead of arguing back and forth, I took the path that many Black gays and lesbians chose…I remained silent.

Today is October first which marks the beginning of the national month long celebration of the role that LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) individuals have played in modern American society. While many only see/accept the white male faces of the LGBT movement, the community is broad, diverse and as far reaching as the day is long and the winter is cold.

It is estimated that 1 in 10 individuals across the board are Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual…which means that 1 in 10 people in the Black community are Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual…but you would never know or rather, refuse to acknowledge.

As many people who are Black AND LGBT have been bred to understand, being accepted into the the Black community with open arms and an acceptable degree of humanistic compassion is like passing a kidney stone through your nipple, its damn near impossible. But the question is why?

Why are your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins relegated to a life of invisible existence, cold stares, tough talk and luke-warm embraces?

Same-gender loving Blacks have been around for forever. We fought side by side to gain freedom from our captors in slavery, we fought side by side to end policy based inequality in this country (one of MLK’s chief advisers was an out gay man), we have fought side by side to help eradicate drugs, poverty and disease in our community…but it never seems enough. Its never enough to encourage understanding and practice civility. We are still mocked and made pariah’s of incessantly.

Throughout the hate filled dark days that linger into tear soaked spiritually torn dark nights, we are here to stay. You are a part of us as much as we are a part of you. Its high time we stop the pointless aggression and hatred. Basically, its unnecessary and counterproductive to who we as a community say we are and who we as community strive to be.

Just like you can’t ignore or deny that one drop (of Black blood) that makes you whole, you shouldn’t ignore and cannot to deny the 1 in 10 either.


Let us know what you think.. but don’t leave no hate in my comments


m. lauren and Aaron!


2 Responses to “Guest Commentary // Black Gays Here To Stay”

  1. joejoe Says:

    “…you shouldn’t ignore and cannot to deny the 1 in 10 either.”

    well said

  2. NICE Pepe-Jesus! Can the church get an AMEN!?! Nothing in The Book says a word about hatred being ok for certain individuals, God says love EVERYONE b/c we are ALL His children, not who YOU think you should love, but EVERYONE…”We are the world, we are the children…” lol 😉

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