Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Once you hit middle school.. boys become obsessed with sex.. then they become obsessed with having sex.. and then they become obsessed with having sex with you.. this is usually around the time you start having those under the covers.. lightly whispering.. late night conversations..

This is usually around the time guys start talking to you about sex.. it’s usually very inexperienced “what’s your favorite position” talk.. but sex talk nonetheless..

Then we get older.. and the talk is less about sex itself and more about the desire.. the intention..

Having sex.. and wanting to have sex is perfectly natural and expected amongst two attracted people.. but just like there can be a “too soon” to have sex.. isn’t there a “too soon” to talk about it!?

I look at it like this.. talking about sex with someone (unless it’s subjective or educational) usually leads them to believe that you not only want to.. but will have sex with them at some point.. Even if I’ve made my mind up about whether or not to go there with you.. I feel it’s important to keep those thoughts to myself for a time.. so as not to give you the “wrong idea”..

If the first things we talk about are sex, then I am setting a sexual undertone to whatever relationship we are embarking upon.. We should be getting to know each other in other ways before having sexual conversations.. that is, if we are intending to explore each other in other ways than sex..

The initial conversations should set the precedent for the type of relationship.. are you going to talk about your feelings on marriage to a girl you just trying to hit?! No.. because she needs to stay in her lane..

So.. I think talkin about sex too soon can hinder the growth of a potential relationship.. similar to having sex too soon.. you’ve got to give him something to look forward to..

When do I think it’s too soon!?! There’s no way to tell really.. but if you don’t even know his favorite color.. it’s probably safe to say that it’s too soon..

Jump-offs and hoes approach sex before last names..

Furthermore.. I do believe that approaching sex too soon (either physically or in conversation) has the potential to ruin relationships..

I think that sex is something sacred that should be given to someone like a gift.. not just anyone can get it and not just anyone deserves it.. why broach the subject of sex before you know if he/she is worthy first?!

I have been guilty of doing just that.. wondering why guys didn’t want to “date” but rather wanted to just have sex (and Im pretty sure that’s all).. and a very good friend of mine said, “well maybe you’re leading them to believe it’s okay by talking about it to them”.. and I it was like this lightbulb went off in my head! I was ruining any potential there could have been by moving too fast (conversationally) and not letting him see what else I had to offer first.. so.. more on that later..


m. lauren — Regular SBF


One Response to “Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby”

  1. […] the original post here: Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby Tags: a-gift-not | a-girl-you | a-very-good | around-the-time | mind | physically | potential | […]

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