Put A Title On It

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Necole Bitchie.. she had a post on there about putting a “title on your relationship”..

Basically she asked the question: will putting a title on it ruin your relationship?!

Great question.. my thoughts first:

A relationship should be defined by the two people in it.. just because your best friend calls the man in her life her boyfriend, doesn’t mean that you have to! I have always put a title on my past relationships, usually because the man involved asked me to (i.e., will you be my girlfriend?) ..

But at this point, I believe that the defining should be focused on what you are willing to do for and with each other, rather than what you should call each other.. in “traditional” terms, a man and woman in a monogamous relationship who are committed to each other would be titled something like “boyfriend/girlfriend” or.. going together if you’re in 8th grade!

Even though I am not seeing anybody at present, I plan to allow my next venture into .. whatever the opposite of singledom is be defined in whatever terms we decide..

Read Necole’s take on things:

So Does Titles Screw A Relationship up? I ask this because with titles we create limitations and boundaries in our relationships which in turn creates unnecessary (or necessary) pressure. My expectations of a person as my boyfriend are higher than that of a friend I am just dating. My expectations of my husband are higher than that of a person that is just my boyfriend. MzSassy2u said it best on twitter “[It may not be titles that causes the issues in relationships] It’s the change that occurs in individuals because of their perspective on what the title means that causes issues”. Why is it that my cousin dated her high school sweetheart for 12 years but it wasn’t until they tied the knot and she became wife that the problems started to arise.

Also when I think of me in a fully committed relationship, I think of me losing myself to become what my significant other wants me to be. When I think of me as a wife, I think of me giving up my career, my goals, my dreams in an effort to take care of home and help him support his. Distorted I know… but that’s how I grew up and what I saw within the relationships of my own family.

For the rest of NB’s thoughts…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: